jfcphotoblog

Japanese Lanterns.

2011-11-24T21:23:00.001-05:00

Over it.

2011-09-17T14:12:00.002-04:00

I know it's been a minute. Don't mine the digitally grainy photo. This is what not wanting to clean your room after a weekend of gay camping / one of your best friends giving you their old tattoo gun results in. Who knew. I've been shooting alot lately, since mid-july really. But I haven't had any money to process the film. Aye. It's an annoying world we live in. Because the subjects include:
-My Dad, Cousin, and Cousins bride doing Keg-Stands at said cousins wedding.
-Beautiful Sunny Park days.
-Drag Queens in the woods
-Old Gay Bar's in the Tenderloin
-etc etc etc.

To see these photographs, please send an inquiry as to where you may send a cheque to. Until then....

Much Love,
John

noone

2011-06-03T19:29:00.000-04:00

My First Mission Post.

2011-06-01T19:41:00.004-04:00

You know how I loath the hangings onto the mission school...?
....well. Sometimes I see some things that despite them falling into that "school" in the art world....fall into kinda amazingness when I just see them on the street. These are two recent examples. Pardon the crappy phone pictures.

More Roofs

2011-05-04T14:31:00.002-04:00

2011-04-27T15:57:00.000-04:00

It was my birthday.

2011-04-20T17:36:00.007-04:00

With detachments steady throwing, we the surface broad surveying, we the virgin soil upheaving. Across the wilderness, America, America.

2011-03-12T18:02:00.003-05:00

"With detachments steady throwing, we the surface broad surveying, we the virgin soil upheaving. Across the wilderness, America, America." 2010

A video piece I made last year but have had trouble uploading to the web due to length (I think?). Video from my trip across this large land mass from Pittsburgh to San Francisco. Audio as well.

I'm still unhappy with the video on the web quality though. I may just upload it to my site as a Quicktime file. It just looks choppy, and it's not supposed to be. It's supposed to be smooooooth.

We Are All Crazy.

2011-03-12T16:19:00.002-05:00

I made a new piece. I haven't posted on here in over a month.
I'm putting a piece in a group show that my uncle is curating in Philadelphia.
I need to photograph it, and then I need to figure out how the fuck to mail it.
It's 2'x2'.

I'll post soon.

2011-01-29T18:45:00.000-05:00

We live in a world overrun by tourists
Tourists - 89 flowers on their back
Inventors of the Accu-Jack
They look at life through a pocket camera
What? No flash again?
They're all a bunch of double drags
Who teach their kids that love is bad
Half of the staff of their brain is on vacation
Mama, are U listening?
We need a new breed - Leaders, stand up, organize ... yeah!
Don't let your children watch television until they know how 2 read
Or else all they'll know how 2 do is cuss, fight and breed

Alot of this.

2011-01-25T21:43:00.003-05:00

I've been doing alot of this lately. This and working. And I suppose a fair amount of drinking. But more working and this. I feel like life is winding down after my whirlwind December/Christmas/New Years/Early January. I've had enough down time to start making my down time productive and enjoyable. I'm finishing a book I've probably been reading since...it's embarassing, so never mind. I'm excited to be done with it and use that fresh space in my guilty reading concious to re-read some of my photo history books. A friend is also loaning me the "Just Kids" Patti Smith book, which I'm sure I'll fly through given it's photo history connection. I also want to hit "Art & Fear" back up. I've been feeling like I could use a go at it again lately. I feel greatly unmotivated to produce work by the insanity of the MFA gallery scene here. It feels like unless you study under the darlings, the darlings will never let you in their galleries. Or, perhaps they might, but how the hell they are ever going to see your work to even think about it...? Why in your MFA crit. of course....! Sorry to end on a seemingly negative note. Here's better. This is a hold over. Borrowing a friends D-90. Will produce newish digi things now-soon.

Times Flimes Bimes.

2011-01-03T20:33:00.003-05:00

Hello Again.
Happy New Year.
Time sure does fly eh? Apologies for time away from this little slice of the internet lately. I have been having some of my best friends in the world in and out and in and out of my life like a whirlwind for the past 3-4 weeks. And so it continues on for another week or so. Though last year went out on quite an absurd note, as occurrences can sometimes be, this one seems off on a good foot. It seems full of kinetic energy. And I feel like taking more initiative to get things done. So here's to good friends and good feelings. I hope you are all feeling somewhat similar. Lets go balls deep on 2011!!

One Touch, Is Never Enough.

2010-11-25T22:35:00.003-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving. I went to an early turkey dinner yesterday, this was there.
And this was on the street today. Props to the photo nerds who see it.

This is not my photograph.

2010-11-03T15:27:00.003-04:00

This is by a guy in the mission who does alot of rad photo work. Times like these are when I wish I had a digital camera, like I did when the Steelers won the superbowl last, and Sharon Needles graced Bloomfield with her presence. Anway. This shot reminded me of Pittsburgh. And oh yeah, if you didn't hear, the Giants won the World Series.

Check out his Flickr album from it:
HERE

2010-10-20T17:10:00.000-04:00

2010-10-20T17:02:00.000-04:00

Self and Bob, Ocean Beach, 2010

2010-09-28T14:49:00.001-04:00

Gobble Gobble

2010-09-03T20:33:00.001-04:00

WILD ANIMAL

2010-08-27T18:26:00.004-04:00

NYTimes Op-Ed piece by Ted Stroll: Aw, Wilderness!

This intro discussion touches on the Forest Services refusal to do things like post signs, allow mountain biking, or anything "mechanical" within nationally designated "Wilderness Areas". Described within the National Wilderness Act (1964) as, areas "“where the earth and its community of life are untrammeled by man, where man himself is a visitor who does not remain.” Within those areas, the act forbids cars, roads, structures and anything else that could impair the “outstanding opportunities for solitude.”" However the NFS's stringent enactment of the act have made much of the mass amount of area set aside inaccessible and quite dangerous to many Americans. Apparently even experienced hikers have been lost with nearly fatal consequences in these areas due to a lack of anything, anywhere to aid in location.

While I am all for the lower end of the technological spectrum in the wilderness, as well as the preserving of natural land as it stands, it seems a bit counter intuitive to leave these as places that people who truly want to experience them, can not have reasonable access to. On a recent camping trip with a friend we were allowed to camp in a "family camp ground", which, albeit high on a mountain and quite isolated, did not deliver the true idea in my mind of camping. A plot with a metal tub for a fire and a parking spot, next to a running spicket and pay phone. Our only other option was to park the car and make a trek to a camping ground (probably in a similar vein) 3 1/2 - 4 1/2 miles out on trail. And again while I am up for that hike/bike (allowed on service roads), it would have been exciting to park the car anywhere we liked and gone off in search of a nice spot. And though the full details are not known to me, another friend recently was woken up by park rangers and given a citation for sleeping in an un-designated area after getting a bit lost late at night after watching the Persiad meteor shower.

This piece has a nice ring to it, and a nice little patch of information. I can't say I disagree. It's wonderful that we are setting aside places in this truly beautiful land to be untouched permanently by human hands. Sure we can't really know who would respect the lands, and who would leave their beer cans behind. But it seems silly to have such great natural resource abound, but generally unavailable.

Gone Fishin'

2010-08-23T01:47:00.001-04:00

Hi.
Apologies to anyone deeply interested in my shutter adventures.
I ran away from the west for a few weeks and have been spending time re-re-adjusting back into S.F. More photo's to come soon. Gotta get some processing on.

2010-07-25T15:16:00.002-04:00

'Yeah! Gettin' drunk and fucking!!! Unemployment!!!"

-Kristina M., roommate.

2010-07-25T13:40:00.000-04:00

2010-07-25T13:22:00.002-04:00

Self in Bed, 2010

2010-07-20T16:31:00.002-04:00

San Francisco Salute, 2010

2010-07-20T13:43:00.004-04:00

2010-06-15T15:55:00.000-04:00

One from the Vaults.

2010-06-14T17:43:00.004-04:00

Oh Barbs.

...You get it.

2010-06-05T00:53:00.000-04:00

2010-05-30T00:34:00.003-04:00

Coming Soon.

2010-05-25T03:43:00.004-04:00

I have a video piece in this upcoming show hosted at Pittsburgh Center for the Arts in (duh) Pittsburgh, PA. The piece is a video I made riding the train to San Francisco from Pittsburgh, though mainly documents Chicago to San Fran. The group show is a collaboration between members of Pittsburgh Center for the Arts/Pittsburgh Filmmakers, the Associated Artists of Pittsburgh, and the guilds associated through it. There were over 200 or so submissions and juror/curator Eric Shiner whittled it down to 50! It should be an interesting show, though I don't think I'll be able to make it to see it. If you are in the area during, go check it out and let me know.
**
edit: I think I might get to see it! I plan on being in Pgh at some point before the closing date.

I'm Nobody's Friend, I'm a Demolition Man.

2010-05-25T01:09:00.000-04:00

Visitors II et III

2010-05-09T02:00:00.004-04:00

Helen outside of Four Barrel.

Jeff on Dolores.

Adventures

2010-04-22T18:00:00.011-04:00

Yesterday I went on an adventure to one of the hills of S.F. that I haven't been to yet. An old roommate was visiting. She, another roommate, and I went on a journey to Bernal Heights. I still don't have a nice digital but for some reason I felt like posting these here rather than anywhere else. It seems like a place I'll revisit with film and a purpose. It also reminded me of the Regent Sq. neighborhood of Pittsburgh.

.

Visitors I

2010-04-18T06:49:00.004-04:00

Mark at China Beach

Bong Water

2010-04-14T21:13:00.001-04:00

Berkeley,CA

The Swissmen.

2010-04-13T23:41:00.002-04:00

In looking at some "Chola" pictures with my roommate and a friend, both of mexican heritage and both from very closeneighborhoods in San Diego, I thought about a classic Robert Frank image, sort of.... The image is of a young family on "a sunday outing" Both key phrases I rememebered, and searched for on the internet. Nothing. After a little while I rememebered that although it's an image that I think has been very informed by Robert, it's actually a photograph taken by Diane Arbus. Duh John.

Diane Arbus, A young Brooklyn Family going for a Sunday outing, N.Y.C. 1966

In my looking for the image however, I stumbled aross some images of the contact sheets for a few pages of Mr. Franks reels. Namely, the one below I found exciting, interesting, and relieving. The sheet shows not only that he must have shot lots, with many non-plus images (The importance of editing ones-self) But that his images are also not the most amazingly exposed. I'm trying to do some research into this to be certain, but I would assume, given the period of this work, that he printed the images himself. Possibly not, but most likely. So it further illustrates the importance of being one with the darkroom and knowing your craft. The most oft seen image on the cover of "The Americans" is the circled image, of the people on the trolley. And you know what? It's kinda blown out! There must have been some serious burning, with serious filters to get that thing as pristine as it is in it's presentation. I can't even begin to think of how many prints there must have been until the "One." I guess the long and short of it was that it was nice to A: find the actual photograph I was looking for, and b: run into a bit of a humbling piece of working process from someone so esteemed whom I hold in high artistic regard.

Keep on shooting?

To Be Free

2010-04-02T02:52:00.005-04:00

I have been working a little less. To the point where I've had just enough relaxation time to start being a real person again. I have some photo's to scan soon. Tons of idea's in my head. And I'm almost finished editing a new video piece (for an entry deadline! here's hoping) In the meantime I've been kind of obsessing over Dame Nina, as I do from time to time. My friend showed me a video that led me eventually to this one. I am always in awe of people/artists who can so succinctly say verbally what they are saying artistically. (which I think is something I address in my work..and have on here as well) And so I am, in awe.

P.s. Also, dust spots? Tear? 16mm?

2010-03-08T03:25:00.002-05:00

2010-02-22T16:23:00.001-05:00

For We Can Not Tarry Here.

Today at work VI

2010-02-21T23:22:00.003-05:00

(installing work by Renee Green)
The past four - five weeks have been grueling and fun. I started preparator work at Yerba Buena Center for the Arts. The organization is a bit off its rocker right now, and the prep crew is reeling from the firing (Laying off, quitting, it's all in who tells the story) of the powerhouse that was the VA dept. It was pretty intense but we ended up pulling off the deinstall/install of two major shows in addition to some smaller galleries. The main show, a solo show of the rarely exhibited in the US, Renee Green, involves roughly 50 video pieces. My fellow A.V. nerds and I had our work quite cut out for us. At the end we were all pulling 13 hour days. I'm glad to say, for the sake of rest, health, etc, that it's over. I'm sorry to say it is, for the paycheck. But I've managed to make some friends, make some contacts, and perhaps even have some more work as a result.

Today at work V

2010-02-03T23:34:00.003-05:00

Today at work an octagon was built that was maybe say...6ft across? It was built outside on an empty patio as there was no room in the busy busy wood shop to put such a big thing together. Only after it was built was it realized that the thing wouldn't fit back in the doors. We were told the only doors to the patio could not be opened because they were for emergency's only (..? Um. ) So we had to flip it over a fence and lower it roughly 8ft to the ground and wheel it back around Mission, onto 3rd, at 6:30...(busy corner) to the loading dock.

And Again.

2010-02-02T22:02:00.002-05:00

Don't ever forget:

Participation mystique. A term derived from anthropology and the study of primitive psychology, denoting a mystical connection, or identity, between subject and object. (See also archaic, identification and projection.)

[Participation mystique] consists in the fact that the subject cannot clearly distinguish himself from the object but is bound to it by a direct relationship which amounts to partial identity. . . . Among civilized peoples it usually occurs between persons, seldom between a person and a thing. In the first case it is a transference relationship . . . . In the second case there is a similar influence on the part of the thing, or else an identification with a thing or the idea of a thing.[Definitions," CW 6, par. 781.]

[Identity] is a characteristic of the primitive mentality and the real foundation of participation mystique, which is nothing but a relic of the original non-differentiation of subject and object, and hence of the primordial unconscious state. It is also a characteristic of the mental state of early infancy, and, finally, of the unconscious of the civilized adult.[Ibid., par. 741.]

2010-02-01T15:35:00.001-05:00

2010-01-28T00:55:00.003-05:00

Coast To Coast.

2010-01-18T01:38:00.007-05:00

These tags are in a bathroom at work.
These tags are also all over in Pittsburgh (though as I haven't seen them in awhile, they could be different styles/artists).
Right path?

Study: Light: Color

2010-01-12T18:58:00.007-05:00

Hot Air Balloons.

2010-01-02T06:02:00.005-05:00

Remember the time we went to the gun bash and drank Budweiser out of beer-cooler-trailers and how Danielle won a camouflaged semi-automatic rifle and we got heckled by the locals for looking like "G-20 protesters" and "Latinos" and we saw a hot air balloon and more camo than you could shake a stick at and we ran around when it was over drinking out of half empty glasses and Danielle and Claire almost got us busted for trying to knock over the port-a-potty with the guy in it who hit on Danielle, degraded her, and who she threw her beer on and then we drove around recklessly, pissing in chain restaurants parking lots and when we got home we all marveled at how incredibly strange and magical the whole day was and then promptly all passed out, some of us naked, on the couch?

I do.

Somewhere, a disco ball from my past.

2009-12-29T05:50:00.004-05:00

It's only make believe, it's something that I do, I love you.

Edit: (also, since it seems fitting, happy new year)

In liue of ACTUAL meanderings....

2009-12-14T21:35:00.002-05:00

I've been meandering the internet.
Here are two articles talking about how people talking about "Political" things are in fact talking about "Nothing at all."

Sarah Palin, the WWE Star
Glenn Beck Loving Grandma, also loves gay grandchildren and republicans.

And I concur.

And also. If you just don't want read, but think it's an equivalent use of your next 8 minutes to watch video instead. Here is (from the first article) some video of alot of people, saying alot of "Nothing at all"

This is my love.

2009-11-27T17:28:00.005-05:00

This is what my bicycle looks like, when it's seat and seat post are stolen, and I lean it up against a palm tree in the median of Guerrero, while on the way to get a new seat and post and put it on my credit card because I straight up can't afford that shit...

Roof IV

2009-11-09T19:40:00.002-05:00

Gay Frat Film and A/V Department.

2009-11-09T17:08:00.007-05:00

Oh Days gone by. Watching some found 16mm in the patio. Aided by lights of varying color temperatures and hues.
*click for larger

A Year Ago.

2009-10-28T18:09:00.002-04:00

A year ago this weekish I came to San Francisco. Scratch that, a year ago today-ish I came back from San Francisco.

A month ago I moved to San Francisco.

It took a little less than a year.

Simply reflecting. Time to leave the house.
Post office, Art store, Four Barrel Coffee, New Friends Via Pittsburgh, Bruce LaBruce. Hope everyone else has had a year as forward moving.

Ladies of the Canyon/Winter/Night

2009-10-27T20:53:00.002-04:00

Looking Pasty Ladies.

Penn and Main Skyline

2009-10-12T00:05:00.008-04:00

From the Penn and Main fortress, row house kingdom.
I'd click for a little larger version were I you, being myself.

Here.

2009-10-05T00:43:00.002-04:00

This is from my first visit.

Today I'm wearing my "City of ChampYinz" shirt.

Cristian and I are giggling about Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion.

Two Days.

2009-09-26T14:37:00.003-04:00

I have two days left.
This is from Chicago. From the recent color batch.
I promise the next picture will not have Claire in it. But she really is a fascinating subject.

Today at work IV

2009-09-16T17:17:00.004-04:00

Also, to top it off, Claire and I ate sandwiches and chips in a launch while a woman was CLEARLY riding on some dude in their boat...maybe....50-70 yards away? I thought you had to come ashore for that kind of service!

C-41.

2009-09-14T10:51:00.002-04:00

So. On Saturday I spent some fun time in the darkrooms with my friends Sally and Laura. Sally provided us with the instruction we needed to use the Jobo color processing machine. I've printed m own color many a time, but have never had the means to process film until recently. Someone donated said Jobo to pghfilmmakers, and I bought a C-41 kit of Tetanol. It was fun an typically filmmakers. The processor has two jobs. One is to keep the water bath, and chemicals at a precise temperature, for this 100 degrees. Also, it's supposed to turn the tank for you. So all you should have to do is dump in the chemistry, time, and dump it out. However, despite it working when we got in the room, when we tried ot actually use the machine with film in it, the motor stopped working. Not really too big of a deal, just a little more work than we had thought was coming. So we had to turn the tank by hand on the machine...but it still made the chemisty easy to do, and the temp was fine.

Sally and Laura both peaced once their few rolls were done. All in all I processed 11 rolls of my own. All 120mm. Some from the holga, and some from the mamiya. Only one roll came out worthless. It actually processed well, but had about two actual usable images. They were however subject wise...poor, and uninteresting, and of a time I'd rather not have around. So I had no problem sacrificing them to the photo gods. I'm going to spend some evenings this week at filmmakers scanning them. I've got about two weeks left, so I'd better use that account up as much as possible. And it'll give me something to work on on da train.

No!....NO!!!!!

2009-09-06T12:49:00.002-04:00

This is an oldie, but I put them together today for something else. Surprise surprise...Lil made a triptych.

John Fucking Cartwright

2009-08-29T13:14:00.002-04:00

Last night saw the dj debut of myself. I was a little unaware of the genre sort of thing that was going on, but am the bomb, and had exactly what was needed. I fucked up a little here and there, but would say it was a good night. Thanks to all who came and partied. I think it was definately the most people I've seen at a dance/music night a the brillobox in quite awhile. Off to a slow start, but got moving. More pics will be on flickr soon.
Extra thanks to Edgar for publishing my name as John Fucking Cartwright, effectively disregarding my indecisiveness over the choice between that and sticking it out with "lil" or "little john." John Fucking Cartwright.

Just a Reminder.

2009-08-10T11:10:00.001-04:00

Don't ever forget:

[Participation mystique] consists in the fact that the subject cannot clearly distinguish himself from the object but is bound to it by a direct relationship which amounts to partial identity. . . . Among civilized peoples it usually occurs between persons, seldom between a person and a thing. In the first case it is a transference relationship . . . . In the second case there is a similar influence on the part of the thing, or else an identification with a thing or the idea of a thing.[Definitions," CW 6, par. 781.]

[Identity] is a characteristic of the primitive mentality and the real foundation of participation mystique, which is nothing but a relic of the original non-differentiation of subject and object, and hence of the primordial unconscious state. It is also a characteristic of the mental state of early infancy, and, finally, of the unconscious of the civilized adult.[Ibid., par. 741.]

Sometimes Life is E-see.

2009-07-24T15:34:00.003-04:00

This photo is almost a summation of how easy Pittsburgh can be.
Sumer rolls in. You embrace the warm kisses of the sun. Lounge, swim, boat, bike, fun, frolic. Winter's angry cold sting soothes and dry tan skin emerges. It's so easy to lose yourself in it and forget the things you need to do. Daily, Weekly, or in life in general. It's nice sometimes to have something jump around in our face and be the reminder of future times and spaces. But that all said, it's still nice to go out on the river every once in awhile and loose yourself. Surrendering to this beautiful place and all of it's soft warm fingers beckoning you to stay through another winter to see another spring. Just don't forget where it all places in the world.

Next Week:

2009-07-08T01:34:00.003-04:00

UPDATE: Our flyer/poster for the front window.

So I'll be a bit out of touch for the next week or so. I'm finishing work up for an upcoming show. I have some printing, sanding, painting, and matting to do. I've got my work cut out for me, but as always, I work best under pressure. If I didn't I would have it all done already!

The show is a small group exhibit in the downstairs gallery of the Harris Theater, 809 Liberty Ave.
Themed around the idea of space. I have posted some of the images here thus far. But please come and check out my other images as well as those of some friends.

Click below for schedule, etc.

They make me feel like....WOOO!!!!

2009-06-26T09:14:00.004-04:00

This morning I am so thankful.
I would like to thank the past. Thank the past for that awful nightmare. Thank the past for waking me up before my alarm.
I would like to thank the future. The future for a voice message that waited for me when I woke up. A voicemail that got me moving enough to dance around my house excited for the day and the movement forward.

I've seen the future baby, it is murder.

Today at work III

2009-06-24T17:23:00.002-04:00

Roof III

2009-06-17T18:36:00.003-04:00

Gays.

2009-06-02T17:56:00.004-04:00

Apparently the gay rights movement only started forty years ago, according to the leaders of the United States of America. The Mattachine Society? The Society for Human Rights? Berlin pre WWII? Anything? ...Apparently not. Stonewall is the epoch, apparently.
Jeeezzzz these people.

President Obama

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton

Idea

2009-05-25T12:34:00.005-04:00

I worked all day yesterday.
After work, and a lovely scoot home I was abducted by friends with a car. I was taken to the strange nether-region of "Shadyside." If you're unfamiliar, this is yup yup wear your money on your country club approved outfit sleeve central. It is also therefor brings into the mix the usual (rather unusual) crowd particular to Pittsburgh that is what we might call an aspiring "Yupzer." I'm pretty pleased that I've finally come to a word for this. Basically the Yupzer is a Yinzer who aspires to a level of upper middle class consumer. A banana republic by work week, a gap on the casual weekend. No, I've never played golf, but I'm sure I'd love it. These are your typical over spending, American dream chasing young professionals. The difference between this group here in Pittsburgh and anywhere else though, is that these people are yinzers. They wouldn't know what a cocktail party was if it shit on their chest. But they've still got the air of self importance, sophistication, and arrogance all about them, if you can smell it beyond their cheap perfumes and cologne.

After spending some time in one bar, with famously boozy Greyhounds (though I think our loving bartenders at our local watering hole pour them stronger and for $3.50 cheaper, you've gotta shell out the money to prove you have it I guess) it was decided the only way to recover the night from it's dullness was to go venture to *gasp* a gay bar. We packed our bags, and made the quick little journey to one of the gay bars to go to in the area. Upon first arrival and after a rude doorman the joint looked empty. After closer inspection it appeared that the party was really in the back. On the giant outdoor patio. "There are so many terrible faggots here.." I remarked. "No," Five chimes in, weak "Sangria" in hand, "There are also so many terrible fag-hags!"

It turned out to be an alright evening. I listened to Five and our friend Alex discuss idiosyncricities of radical queer movements or their lack of actual "movement." The challenges given to homos such as Five or myself, in carving out our own place within radical queer idea's or politics given the fact that "Gay Men" have already, within a grouping and "type"ing, been assimilated into a generally accepting culture. It would seem from the discussion, that it is easy to see and understand how transgendered peoples and lesbians still can be easier and seemingly more obvious areas of radical movement and organizing because they have not been assimilated to a similar (commercially viable) extent. However, this whole notion/idea/truth completely leaves out the possibility of me. Of Five. Of Eric. Of a whole slew or men I know who, even if they aren't looking to voice or act on or even entertain radical political ideas or radical sexual/ity ideas (which really? It's not that radical, it's called living), do not belong to the assimilated black and white, top or bottom, American Eagle or Abercrombie, Martini or Cosmo, flip-flops or flip-flops, red plaid button up or pink plaid button up cultural environs that are so comfortable, privledged, and blind. And therein lies the problem, our complaints, our obstacle. An unaccepted minority within it's own (american, city, etc) societally accepted minority. It is hard to get people to listen to the "But this is why it's hard for me!" when they are cutting you off with a "No, this is why it is easy for you, so shut up and listen to why it's actually way more hard for me, you self loathing needy gay man."

Now, who has a thirty foot or so long gallery space for the mural print/install I am going to make about this? I guess 15 would be do-able.

Roof II

2009-05-11T16:32:00.003-04:00

Time Past

2009-05-07T18:25:00.005-04:00

I scanned this line of Negs in late Dec.
I shot them possibly in the spring of that year, 2008, though I can't be sure. These seem to be a result of the Mapplethorpe class and a moment of temporary insanity. It's nice to know that when the logical portions of my brain aren't working, that the mechanical and photographic portion goes into overdrive. These are straight from the scanner, unedited in any way. The prints I've made of them look just as incredible to me. Sometimes I surprise myself.

Roof I

2009-05-02T11:02:00.002-04:00

Modern Sounds

2009-04-27T15:44:00.002-04:00

Before I get to some posts of recent image wanderings:

Recently on one of the wonderful days in which Pittsburgh skips spring and rolls straight into summer...I was drinking. I had after work drinks with some friends, and then continued with them to a bar to "Watch" the Penguins game. I am not generally into sports though I do enjoy drinking. I also enjoy the spectacle that is a bar during any sort of sports thing. The bar we went to was a place called Howlers which is a space with a stage and shows in the second half of the bar, and the first side is a bar in which can be found the denizens of Liberty Ave., Bloomfield blue collar liver killers, some punks, some rockers, and the occasional skin. Tonight it was more of the blue collar land. It was early, and most were there for some conversation and the game. We sat there watching, people watching, talking. I made some remarks on the lone CRT T.V. in a space hollowed out behind the liquor. Ever since I've started going to Howlers, that T.V. has not been in use. More in favor are the numerous flat screens that sit around the bar, showing some sort of digital cable programming. I of course had to remark on the fact that despite it's almost outdated-ness (for a bar at least), I was surprised they didn't have it on. Merely for the purpose of having another place to look at, besides, it was directly in front of me and I was cranky cause I kept having to turn my neck to look at the hot hockey players with beards on T.V.

So the games on, and occasionally these digital cable snags occur. A few times the signal does that digital chop up we are all so aware of. About 25 minutes or so in however, the screen freezes. Completely. For roughly 3-4 minutes. Jeers from the crowd, accusing comcast of conspiracy, or of comcast of being fans of the other team. "I'm calling them, we pay for this! How could they" Right? How could they have the nerve to fuck up their technology for all these middle aged whities watching flat screens? Rude. Eventually the image returns, all is well, $1.50 knights heads resume flowing. ...Until tragedy strikes again. This time it's even worse. The image freezes again, causing similar outbursts and accusations as the first time. Except this time it doesn't come back. Despite the bartenders thoughts that changing the channels were the solution last time... it doesn't work. The image is fucked. Some people wander in from their houses or other bars and it was quickly put together that the whole city, or at least Bloomfield, was having the same problem. Someone has the incredible idea though. Put the radio on! Well I was actually pretty surprised that there was a radio in the place attached to the sound system. I suppose chances are it was just part of the reciever, but I digress.

....This was the moment I was excited. Oh, the radio! AM radio! For all my bitching in the evening about how incredibly fucked it is that the government has allowed even basic low fi broadcast signals to be commodified into something you have to pay for, for the basic broadcast fequencies being sold, and used for other purposes. For the sad fact that now without the luxury of a digital television, or some diital reciever, not to mention the luxury of electricity...We were going to listen to AM radio. I immediately had (surprise) an idealized scenario running through the brains. It did not play out, and actually cemented a little bit more of my disconnect from the general population. No one got quiet. No one intently listened. No one reacted to the energy or excitement in the voices of the announcers who put their shit into letting you audibly see the game. The crowd at the bar either got annoyed and talked about leaving...made jokes about the whole situation and drunkenly prattled on. But no one could focus! I tried my hardest but tuning out the noise and focusing on something I wasn't really actually interested in wasn't the easiest. But I really couldn't. Instead I did more of what I was really there for in the first place. I watched the people. I listened. I thought about their inability, and sudden disinterest in paying attention to something they were all so seemingly invested in...now that their image had disappeared. Without the image, without the streaming digital flow of flashes of advertisements and logos, without viewable violence and facial hair, without the background organ music or mid ninties dance songs, without sideline shots and a mind numbing glow they didn't know what to do.

*margarita and computer party with Claire and Zack on a Sun-day Monday.

Awaiting.

2009-04-18T19:17:00.005-04:00

Apparently this album is due in 2 days. I'm glad I JUST found this out, otherwise I would have been anxious for it.....

I picked up a special 45 of theirs today as part of National Record Store day. It's pretty awesome and has the following track on side a. Traceyanne and the whole lot are just so melancholy and I must say currently I'm due for some upbeat stringy twee poppish depressing songs about relationships.

UPDATE:
Since it's apparently video hour on my blog ( I swear I am processing some rolls tomorrow ) this is the new Ladytron video. Another forever favorite band of mine. This song really stuck out on their most recent album, in fact I even found a draft of a post never published on here with the main refrain, followed by only "I've been a little out of sorts lately" from myself. I'm glad they've released it. A softer side showing through.

As for the video. It kind of looks like/reminds me of a time I had on the past trip to San Fran. Right down to the end. I think the girls are supposed to be Claire and I standing on the mountains in the headlands. Although there were no women floating up into the sky with billowy fabric.

Today at work II

2009-03-16T22:54:00.005-04:00

Actually, this was Saturday.

I am working on an installation of glass work by Italian artist Maria Grazia Rosin. Her work is being installed in the Forum gallery. It consists of hanging chandeliers that resemble either sea creatures or space floaty alien things. Depending on whether you're a glass half empty or half full type of person. There is also a projection and speakers assigned to specific sculptures, their soundtrack I haven't heard yet, despite the fact that that is mostly what I'm working on. It's been fun.

Ashley Todd

2009-03-02T19:23:00.002-05:00

Ol' B-Face herself:

Blowing Tops.

2009-02-17T14:10:00.002-05:00

Hey Ya.

Just a quick hit from the little john underground. These RCMP pictures are making their rounds as a free track has been spread along the world of the internet. Dudes know how to make your body move. Check out these posts on DISCOBELLE and the Philadelphyinz site, respectively for use of my shots with links to your next party's jam.

Philadelphyinz

Discobelle

Did you hear?

2009-02-15T22:46:00.003-05:00

RCMP

2009-02-09T10:39:00.011-05:00

Some promo shots I did for a friends upcoming music project.

A few more here.

New Places.

2009-01-28T22:59:00.009-05:00

Taken a small bit ago. Before I painted the floor white, before there was ice covering the ground. It was a nice ritualistic embrace of this new space, however fleeting it may be.

Two Tins

2009-01-09T14:08:00.002-05:00

Hot Summer

2008-12-30T19:14:00.002-05:00

From a hot summer's day of packing and relaxing.

This weekend was fucking cosmic shaking magical. I would like to thank Mitchel, Claire, Laura, and the Universe. I shot some things of sorts. Should have them processed shortly. Also discovered some film in a Holga of which I am not sure of the origins. We'll see soon. This one is still from that batch from the past year.

Moo

2008-12-13T14:18:00.000-05:00

C owing Down on Liberty.

How Little John Got His Groove Back.

2008-12-08T23:24:00.002-05:00

6 hours in the darkroom today. More where this came from.
Please come again!

Mystical

2008-12-04T21:08:00.003-05:00

Community, Non-Community, Fags, Friends, Ex-Friends, Ex-Boyfriends, Art Thesis, Art Work, Psyche, Personal, Self:

I love when things start coming together. When you have to sit down on the ground or you might pass out or shit your pants.

[Participation mystique] consists in the fact that the subject cannot clearly distinguish himself from the object but is bound to it by a direct relationship which amounts to partial identity. . . . Among civilized peoples it usually occurs between persons, seldom between a person and a thing. In the first case it is a transference relationship . . . . In the second case there is a similar influence on the part of the thing, or else an identification with a thing or the idea of a thing.[Definitions," CW 6, par. 781.]

[Identity] is a characteristic of the primitive mentality and the real foundation of participation mystique, which is nothing but a relic of the original non-differentiation of subject and object, and hence of the primordial unconscious state. It is also a characteristic of the mental state of early infancy, and, finally, of the unconscious of the civilized adult.[Ibid., par. 741.]

Haus

2008-11-28T21:32:00.008-05:00

There was almost a fight at Gay Frat Haus a few nights ago.

But luckily, sharing was encouraged.

This past year.....

2008-11-20T16:15:00.002-05:00

My friend Kelly took this digital photograph of me recently.
I don't think I have ever seen a shot by another person, in which I've felt like I can see myself.
Call me narcissistic, or call me someone who works pretty heavily in the mode of self portraiture, but I am in this photo.
I can read the past year or so, so precisely, so clearly. It's eerie to me, but incredible to see.
I also think the person in this picture is someone who is getting farther and farther away. And, I like that.

This is what the past year has looked like.....for my liver.

Moving On.

2008-11-17T14:29:00.002-05:00

I have a feeling there will be lots more posts coming in the near future. I am sitting in my attic/studio with only a tank top on. It's not the warmest up here. I've been jumping around in various states of undress in front of the camera. I am thinking of starting a flckereilnswcw thing. I am going to buy some matte white paint. I am going to figure out how to bleed the radiators. I am going to take my camera back and might even print today. I'm moving very forward and after this weekend, and this moment right now, I'm moving very on.

Fuck. I'll never have a space like this n SF.
Fuck.

Dad Votes

2008-11-04T14:45:00.006-05:00

I sent all of my family the same text message inquiring as to their voting status. My father responded via this hasty, typo'd, kind of awesome e-mail (and suffice it to say, when he says dope smoking, it's a term of endearment, wink wink) :

Go 'head Dad, go 'head.

I'm back.

2008-10-29T17:43:00.007-04:00

Back from my whirlwind trip to my new home. Can't wait till I go and don't have to come back.
It's snowing, and thirty-six degrees out. I took very few photo's with the digital. Mostly 120 color. Also spent all my money. However, when I get paid I am sending those out. Then I'll get on scanning the negatifs for your general consumption.

My roommate John and I just spent about 5 minutes bitching about the axis of the Earth and the plague that is winter that it enacts on the northern hemisphere.

Here are some things that have made me happy lately, aside from my trip.

Coffee treats with my name in them.

Chloe visiting, and scooting (even if it's not in SF).
Max, my new boyfriend from San Francisco.
Cool pictures I've taken of projection equipment.

al - co - hol;_____

2008-10-27T14:03:00.000-04:00

I'm always drunk in San Francisco;__
I always stay out of my mind.
But if you've been to San Francisco,
they say that things like this go on all the time.___

It never happens nowhere else,__
maybe it's the air;
Can't really seem to help myself;__
And, what's more, I  don't   care.

I'm always drunk in San Francisco;__
I'm never feeling any pain.
But tell me, why does San Francisco,
just like a lover's kiss, go straight to my brain?

I guess it's just the mood I'm in___
that acts like al - co - hol;___
Because I'm drunk in San Francisco,
and I don't drink at all.___________

[Repeat]

A Cautionary...

2008-10-20T21:45:00.006-04:00

I was shopping at the party store...

2008-09-26T19:00:00.002-04:00

....and saw this:

Melissa Joan Hart

2008-09-13T10:33:00.008-04:00

One:

"Maybe I am just sub-conciously destroyed by pop culture."

While talking to my friend Bryan yesterday about voting and changes of address etc....We were discussing me not changing my registered address until after the election for a deep seated (by loads of political documentaries, thanks Filmmakers) that I will wind up in one of those hassles of "Oh, we don't have you listed here," or "You've never voted here before? Oh, you have to go here instead.." Bryan still votes where his parents live, out in bumble fuck. But not for any reasons like mine. He wants specifically to vote against Melissa Hart (former member of the House, PA District 4, running again this year after defeat last, and also royal conservative bitch). Good Reason. But Bryan kept calling her Melissa Joan Hart (Clarissa Explains It All, Sabrina the Teenage Witch). Surely these were not one in the same. We figured it out, and Bryan said one of the best things I have ever heard anyone ever say (above). On Point Bryan, On Point.

Two:
I am fucking exceptionally fascinated lately by peoples snapshot necessity. I've been asked multiple times in the past few days at work, about the photography policies of the museum. Policies aside, I have just had it on my brain. It's all people consuming. Not all, but some of it. It's people needing to validate, show, capture, and hold. I want to go back over some of my lecture shit about the snapshot and read read read and write write write. I think I am gestating right now. Gestation, cleaning my "studio space"...well, that's mostly relying on Marcus..., and writing. I made some official friends number getting etc. last night. I'm talking with Edgar about doing something. I'm going to be doing some travelling. I have 800 idea's. Something is going to get blown up soon. Positively.

Three:
Purses, What The Fuck, "Types," Cock Abstraction, PissFountain, PissChandelier, 35 Gay Men, Mural Length Foamcore, J.Fox's dog shit, White Tent Marimba/ist

Four:
I can't stop staring at the dude sitting outside ith the muscles and very well trimmed/grown beard.

Nipple to the Bottle.

2008-09-06T14:12:00.014-04:00

Bear with it through the last paragraph, then let's discuss:

Alright. First of all. I wish that I got paid to publish online "Articles" that essentially amounted to what my notebook writings and ramblings look like at times. Writing critique aside...

Secondly. That last paragraph is pretty, sort of, apt. It's a nice little bit of an affirmation to read this outside of the group of people who "Get It" that I surround myself with. Lately, I have been settling some unsettling personal things and my mind has instantly (it's kind of incredible how quickly) gone back to occupying itself (note: Not me occupying myself...my brain just does this. It's where it goes, automatically) with this sort of queer fuckery. Music is something that I had never even considered. Really? I missed that. I guess my musical tastes are pretty rounded. I often bond with people over music, so most of my friends have similar broad ranging musical tastes. While I say broad, I do recognize my lean towards 80's, Synths, New Wave, Wacky, Tacky, and Danceable. But even within that, I feel I've got a pretty wide idea of what constitutes or is contained within all of those.

I do take a little bit of issue with the writers use of "The Gays" as an all-encompassing statement for us all. Especially when part of the point they are trying to make is that "The Gays" are often in fact not such a broad grouping, and that "The Gays" are actually as divided a group as any other social "type". They may actually be white middle class mainstream gays, or poor white blue collar gays, or even as the article tip-toes, "Urban" gays. Urban? In an article entitled "Why do gays hate Black music?," I find it incredible that the writer then can not say a a blatant "Mainstream white gay culture is kind of afraid of black culture, gay or in general." Is that not the underlying idea? Hey! Maybe some of "the gays" are like some of the everyone else, racism and all...

Of course this is not the case for (I would hope) most of, since we are grouping, "us." And, while I am sure most of these mainstream white gay's would not consider themselves racists (or classists, or agists, or sexists....) there is definitely this type of sentiment prevalent in the homo-normative (5!) gay bars/hangouts/social scenarios I've encountered. It's a similar happening at Kelly's Bar, in East Liberty (a largely poor black neighborhood in Pittsburgh that was a victim of what I would describe as racist urban planning in the 60's, which is now being gentrified by the neighboring affluent white Shadyside faster than you can eat an all natural locally grown organic fair trade gourmet cupcake). Having a jukebox loaded with discs of great old soul, jazz singers, and funk along with punk and rock standards is great when it's because you are into playing that music. However, not allowing rap/top 40 on their jukebox soley to keep the "Wrong Crowd" out is just the same old song. (even if in my opinion it's just fine without the top 40) It's the "We're not racist, we have lots of soul and funk on the Jukebox!" "We're not racist, we have Janet Jackson and Beyonce remixes on the video lounge screens" kind of mentality. Not racist, in a wizard hat wearing way, but racist nonetheless. It is a pinch of classism, a dab of racism, a smackering of elitism. Is there a word I am missing out on here that covers this all? No? Well I think we've hit it pretty close then. It's all of the above stewed together for stinking dose of disdain and social exclusivity.

Oh, as an aside, don't worry. You don't have to be black, or hispanic, or even the result of a horrible disfiguring/crippling accident to be disreguarded, feared, or simply given bitchy looks. You can even be white and non-conformist to common gay societal "norms" presented to you via hetero societal norm bearing mass media. This article basically comes down to a familiar conclusion. A good portion of "The Gays" are just like a good portion of everyone else. A good portion transparent, a good portion pretty shitty.

Alright. Time to figure out how this one is going to look on silver gelatin?

Piss Fan Pissfan

2008-08-26T22:15:00.003-04:00

The work I did for the Still Image/Moving Picture Show, is now online. Click the smaller image to see the work and minute explanation.

2585

2008-08-21T14:58:00.006-04:00

Bell and Howell 2585 16mm projector

Due an incredible stroke of dumb luck, and an incredible love of that fabulous man Edgar Um Bucholtz, I may (or may not, but most likely may) soon be the owner of my very own 16mm projector. We also may have some assorted videos and films on proper attire for bank tellers as well as proper conduct for them in the workplace. Sometimes life is sweet.

Sick.

2008-08-20T16:04:00.003-04:00

I got a new seat cover, and finally got a rear rack for Animal. Animal has got a big shiny rack.
Also. There are dead autumn-y leaves outside the door to the Museum. Summer is leaving me.
I think I'm going to vomit.

Matchwood Preview

2008-08-11T19:17:00.004-04:00

Check out this little audio interview with a few artists including myself who are showing at "The Still Image/Moving Pictures Festival" this Saturday.

http://matchwood.org/matchwoodlive/?p=38

Trip to Bumble.

2008-08-03T17:32:00.007-04:00

This weekend I took some time off from the boxes. I went to my parents house. They live in Jersey Shore, PA. Weird name, weirder place. I partially wanted to just get out of the city, and into the country for a little while. I also partly wanted to avoid the guilt that would follow my grandfathers death if I had not visited, opting to drink heavily with friends on my time off. It's Sunday evening, I'm leaving sometime tomorrow, I have a doctors appt. at 5pm, but here is what has happened thus far:
-Photographed at two locations I have wanted to shoot 12o color at for ages. I think I got it.
-Saw a horse and buggy
-Saw my grandfather, and very coincidentally my aunt and two cousins, who I never see. Wonderful.
-Went to the Woolrich company store, where despite having the BEST flannels/flannel patterns ever, they do not believe in the size "Small". I bought a hat, a wool blanket, and an extremely cheap Nalgene bottle. My father bought me a (Medium) camoflaged print button up I plan on taking in. DEER camo print. In Fucking Credible.
-I frolicked in a field.
-Got a knife set for our kitchen, as well as a knife my grandfather was given by a family he stayed with when stationed in the phillipines. Reportedly made of downed Japanese aircraft metal and some sort of horn.
-Stole cast iron skillets from my parents.

We are cooking some cook-aht stuff tonight. Then I plan on going to find some trees or a field to sit in and relish. I think I might have to do this a few more times this summer. It's very relaxing and fits in with the whole cleansing thing that seems to be going on in my life right now. P.S. These images are all from photoboth. purely illustration.